Monday, June 9, 2008

Monkey God Named Chairman of Indian College

Say all you want about Indian colleges and universities, but apparently researchers at this business and engineering school have mastered the necessary spiritual technology to summon Hanuman, the Hindu monkey god, to tangible appearance - or at least appearance tangible enough to serve as chairman of the college. We American magicians had better get busy unless we want to have our evocatory work outsourced to the subcontinent.

From the article:

The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Vivek Kangdi, the school's vice chairman.

One wonders what a meeting with the chairman would be like. Does he appear in the empty chair as a shimmering field of energy that radiates luck and power? Or maybe something more like a translucent guy in a high school mascot uniform? Indian magicians have remained closed-lipped for now, presumably to keep their summoning techniques from being duplicated elsewhere in the world. After all, imagine what could go wrong if everyone knew how to summon their deities to tangible appearance. There would probably be more than a few lightning bolts called down from Heaven upon the unwary.

The nature of Hanuman's appearance would of course offer valuable clues upon which a rival conjurer could base his or her own research. The incense, for example, probably is required so that Hanuman can form a body from the smoke as in Western evocations, but the proper type is cleverly not mentioned. Five chairs, one reserved for Hanuman and the other four for visitors, could allude to the pentagram representing spirit descending into matter, but without the exact office configuration it's hard to be sure.

Let's just hope that Hanuman doesn't sit at his desk all day playing Minesweeper. That could be a disaster for everyone involved.

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